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29 Week Pregnancy Update my usual fashion, I'm finally posting a pregnancy update, but it's late. I filmed this update at nearly 30 weeks (29 weeks, 6 days) so I'm really kind of only a week late! I'm technically 31 weeks now, and I'll be filming a new update in the next couple of days.

I've also not been able to take a chalkboard shot lately. Partially because I haven't had husband hasn't been around to take the photo...and most recently, I can't really go up and down the stairs and it's set up in our basement currently. So I snapped a quick shot in our living room with our point-and-shoot camera...(scroll down past the photo for the video)

I've also included a bit more in this update. My gender thoughts, my birth plan and info on my preterm labor issues that I posted about previously. Enjoy!

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Baby Boy Clothing Haul - Target, GAP, Old Navy and more...

Coming to terms with boy's clothing has been difficult for me. I know, totally first world problems and so not important...but I can't help it! I have a hard time with frogs, dogs, fire trucks and footballs on boy's clothes. I just can't do it! I'm finding I like more 'plain' items, lots of stripes and really unique, atypical prints and patterns.

So I've been slowly accumulating things for our baby boy and have amassed quite a pile! It's sort of random and he still needs a lot of basics, but I'm finding a lot of cute little things for him at my favorite stores. Baby GAP is a front-runner for me, for baby boy and for Lark. I've bought a bit for her as well lately, and may film a girl's clothing haul too. Target is always a win, in my opinion, and you can't beat the prices.

I decided to film a haul of things I've found for him lately. You can watch below. Also, if you have any favorite stores or online shops that have cute and trendy boy's pieces, drop me a note!

(you can find links to specific items or websites in the description box on YouTube)

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Shit just got real...

On Friday morning, I went in to the OB office for a last minute appointment after not feeling well...what happened after that was something I could have never been prepared for...

It all started Thursday afternoon when I began having episodes of nausea. A few people at work had been dealing with stomach flu, so I was concerned I may have caught something, or I thought I had maybe eaten something bad. James and I went to watch our niece's little league game and I was having a hard time even sitting still there because the nausea just kept coming in waves. We headed downtown after that to grab a bite to eat. I thought eating might help a bit, since I was hungry as well. I couldn't really stomach what I had ordered, even though it was something I normally love. But I still never felt feverish or weak, like I have anytime I've had stomach flu. I was

Later that night it turned to painful stomach cramping, which I was sure was going to turn itself into some major visit to the porcelain throne...but again, nothing ever transpired. I was trying to get things prepared for going out of town for the weekend. We were supposed to head back down to Saginaw to watch my stepson play in a ball tournament, since he's still living in Saginaw until school is out. But I couldn't really focus on anything because I wasn't feeling right. I was really anxious and just trying to find ways to distract myself from the stomach pains and wishing I'd either puke know...

At some point late in the evening, I laid on the couch and dozed off for a bit. James woke me later to head to bed. I couldn't get comfortable at all and when the stomach pains were coming, I was now also getting back pain. I sat up in bed and said, 'something is not right.' I came out to the couch for awhile, watching who knows what on tv, thinking that these pains were feeling an awful lot like contractions. I have been dealing with Braxton Hicks for months now, but they had never been terribly painful. So this was alarming. I decided to time them, because they'd come and go, waxing and waning in intensity and pain, and I began to get worried. They were about 10-15 apart for almost 2 hours and I kept going back and forth in my head about whether or not I should drive myself to the emergency room. They finally crept to a distance of an hour apart and I decided that with it being close to 5 am, I'd try and sleep and call the OB when they opened, just to give myself peace of mind, because I was certain I was just overreacting.

I was awoken around 6, yet again with pains and pressure, but still considering going to work. Once I reached the OB nurse, they wanted me in just to check vitals and what-not. Better safe than sorry, especially at 29 weeks. Things had somewhat calmed at this point, mostly just Braxton Hicks, but still pretty often.

As soon as I got into the office, the pain started again. My back hurt so badly and it seemed liked hours that I sat in that waiting room, waiting to be called. The nurse could tell I wasn't in my right mind. I had no fever, and my blood pressure was good, both of which she said was great. Baby's heartbeat was also good, and he was moving around, but that also aggravated my aches and pains! We were thankful for movement though.

The doctor decided to swab for labor, which involved a pelvic exam. Good times while you're in pain! She said she'd get results in a couple of hours. She said it would be a good indicator of whether or not I would give birth in the next two weeks.

She decided at the end to check my cervix for dilation. Generally she's a really calm, almost monotone person. As soon as she got herself all up in there (sorry to be graphic here, no, not really haha) her face immediately changed and she quickly started cleanup while saying, 'Well, you're dilated to 2 cm, so what's going to happen now is you're going to go straight to the hospital. The nurse will take you over and I'll be right behind you.'

I immediately started to panic...thinking, 'I'm only 29 weeks and my baby is going to die.' Dramatic? Maybe, but I'd never dealt with premature labor and certainly knew nothing about preemies and babies being born this early. It was such a scary moment. I got dressed and called James, who was home with Lark, my precious angel whose face would not leave my mind at that moment. I just couldn't bear the thought of something bad happening. I was in tears and he and I were both in shock...

I did decide to vlog parts of that day...

I was admitted and there most of the day. I was given steroids to help the baby's lungs in the event he were to be born. That shot was a literal pain in my ass and burned like a mother-something! I had to have a second dose 24 hours later.

As you saw in the video, I was able to come home, but I was basically on strict bed rest for the night until they saw me the next day. Still having contractions, the doctor was still concerned and has basically instructed me to be off work for this next week, to be safe.

I've been so stressed out. Thoughts in my head about permanent bedrest and how we can't afford it...heartbreak over not being able to hold or pick up my baby girl, who knows something's wrong and gets distraught at times and wants her mama...paranoid about her being in other people's care with her health and allergy issues and the thought of something also happening...thoughts about Brennan, 2.5 hours away and not able to be with us...thoughts about the baby in my womb, who I learned has a pretty good survival rate, but could still have long would be in the NICU? would Lark be without me for an extended period of time?...everything was caving in on me, and it was really scary.

Luckily, I had James, who is literally the most kind and patient person I have ever known, and members of his family, OUR family, willing to go above and beyond to accommodate us and make sure I was taken care of and safe.

So I'm home. Still pregnant. Still stuck on this couch. Still experiencing all the symptoms of early labor. But the baby is still cooking, and we are hoping it stays that way...

Preterm labor is much more scary than I could have ever imagined, and my heart goes out to moms everywhere who've dealt with this, or even regular labor and delivery, because being a mom is hard. It's beautiful, but it's hard...

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FINALLY...A Gender Reveal...

It's been quite a few weeks since we found out baby's gender. But with our life kind of being upside down and my husband still being gone a lot during the week (not anymore! Yay!) it's been hard to find time to get this reveal finished!

So...without further ado...

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20 & 21 Week Pregnancy Update

I'm feeling accomplished and caught up! Cranking these updates out this weekend. I always have the questionnaires filled out, but finding time to film and edit during the week is difficult at the moment!

Here is my 20 and 21 week update!


How far along?  21 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? About 8-10 lbs

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Sleeping better, but waking up some still.

Best moment last week? The usual...just spending time with my girl, and with my husband on weekends. And hitting that halfway mark!

Movement?  So much! This baby is a mover!

Food cravings? All junk all the time! And coke, but cutting way back because I think the caffeine is causing issues:

Symptoms? My newest symptom has been Braxton hicks contractions for the last two weeks, which I had a lot with Lark, but not until much later. OB was a bit concerned, and I've been instructed to take it easy, which is hard because I'm alone with an active toddler during the week. Trying to have her walk more now that the weather is a bit better and snow has melted a lot. SPD has been kicking up too...

Gender? We know now!! But haven't revealed yet!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.

What I miss: this question is getting redundant...isn't it obvious?! My husband and my family being together!!!

What I am looking forward to: still the warm weather so Lark can get outside and get some exercise!

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18 & 19 Week Pregnancy Update

Playing catch up, as usual, with my pregnancy updates...quite a few weeks behind at this point, but here's the update for 18 and 19 weeks!

18 Week Update

How far along?  18 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Officially up 3-4 lbs from my starting weight. It's fluctuating at the moment...

Maternity clothes? Duh. Stretchy pants galore these days!

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Better! But still always tired...

Best moment last week? Just the usual 'weekend with my husband' happies...

Movement?  Tons...still on a pretty regular schedule. Thinking it can probably be felt from the outside now, but every time I try, little pea stops kicking!

Food cravings? The usual...

Symptoms? Tired...nausea is pretty much gone! Unless I eat too much. I've already hit that point where my stomach is running out of room for food and I get uncomfortable very quickly...I feel like the SPD I had last pregnancy is slowly creeping its way back in. Not looking forward to that! Still a randomly itchy face and other weird spots on my arms and legs. Sinuses are still screwy and I've had a recurrence of headaches!

Gender? Next week!!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.
What I miss: sunshine and warm weather! 

What I am looking forward to: our anatomy ultrasound next week! It's been a minute since I've seen the babe and I'm anxious to see how we are doing and hopefully find out gender!! 


How far along?  19 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Between 3 and 5 lbs

Maternity clothes? Lots! Need to order more pants and some spring items though.

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Oh my. Lark has been really sick and we've barely slept! So still very tired!

Best moment last week? We had an ultrasound and found out gender this week!

Movement?  Lots! Still at fairly predictable times of the day.

Food cravings? The usual still...and Starbucks iced chai!!

Symptoms? Nothing new of note. Haven't been sick at all, so that's a bonus!! Skin is still being wacky and my hair is sprouting new strands lately (sadly, most are gray!) 

Gender? We know now!! But haven't revealed yet!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.
What I miss: oh gosh...broken record here, but my husband...

What I am looking forward to: daylight savings and SPRING!

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Pregnancy...round 2

So, if you haven’t gathered, I’m pregnant again. Either that, or I ate 539 too many donuts and it all went to my belly.

Horrible photos courtesy of my iphone...

Pregnancy the second time around has been no joke! It started much rougher, with spotting and bleeding, which had me doubting it would even continue at that point, but here we are, at 25 weeks, with a healthy baby (PHEW!). And while most of my symptoms have been identical to the ones I experienced while pregnant with Lark, they seem to be happening at a more rapid pace this time.

As most of you (probably) know, James and I got married on November 1st of last year. If you’re doing the math in your head right now, then you’d be correct in guessing that this is a ‘wedding’ baby…(just saying)…and no more than a week later, I accepted a new job in a city 2.5 hours away from where we were living which obviously required relocation. Something we were fully prepared for being that we’ve always wanted to live in said location. No big deal! We were happy!

But what has transpired over the last 4.5 months could not have been predicted and we could not have been prepared for. From family and health issues, to legal and custody issues with my stepson, to navigating this pregnancy and toddler wrangling as a ‘single’ mom for much longer than we had anticipated…and it’s been…hard. There isn’t a more accurate (read: fancy) word for it. Hard. Emotionally, physically…we’re exhausted.

Being a ‘single’ mom is not easy. I never assumed it was easy. My mom was a single mom for quite some time, before my stepdad came along, often working multiple jobs just to scrape by. I don’t know how she did it. And while I have a home to live in, a good job, food on the table…it’s still beyond difficult.  

Add to that a pregnancy. Add to that an already uncomfortable pregnancy. My body just can’t keep up this time around.  I’m much more tired, cannot get enough rest, and Braxton Hicks contractions started up much earlier than with Lark, and with much more gusto, for lack of a better word. So I’ve been instructed to ‘take it easy,’  ‘lift and bend less’ and ‘get more rest’ which, if you have a toddler, then you probably know this isn’t happening.

Add to all of this, my lack of a husband/father…ok, that sounds bad, like he’s chosen this, which he hasn’t. But it’s a very real and raw part of our lives right now. I grew up without my father in my life. Granted, I had a stepdad who was great, but I never knew my ‘dad.’ I do now, and he’s awesome and our relationship is awesome, but it definitely makes me appreciate the fact that my babies have their dad. I have surreal moments where I think, ‘My kids have a dad!’ and that’s probably insane for most people, because most people knew their dads before they were adults. What I’m getting at is, while it’s physically and mentally draining to be taking care of our daughter without him, I have silent moments of heartbreak when she does something silly or cute, and I don’t have him to share it with.  We’ve seen him more over the last two weeks, which we are loving! He’s watching Lark on days he’s here and helping me get the much needed rest I need. Hopefully he will be here full-time soon, but he has another son who also needs him, which is why he’s split at the moment. I won’t get into specifics, but basically he’s not allowed to move his son without court/mom’s approval, which didn’t happen for us for various reasons, but he will be allowed to move once school is out for the summer. It’s been extremely hard on us emotionally, physically and financially to have dealt with this over the last 4.5 months.

He’s the best dad, and we need him so much.

So pregnancy the second time around has been much different, even while being somewhat the same. I just don’t have time (or energy) for usual things. My time is taken up by a new job and a toddler. Sadly, pregnancy takes a back seat. I’m taking care of myself, sure, but things like this blog have been lacking tremendously. I’m just trying to make it, one day at a time, on my own, with a tiny, 19-month-old sidekick.

I had a fashion post for each week last time around. And while I’m posting belly photos as often as I can, it’s generally a phone shot and just posted to instagram. My wardrobe is pathetic, at best, mostly due to THE LONGEST WINTER EVER! But also because I have zero motivation. I see maternity style posts online with women looking amazing in heels and dresses and I moan and groan to myself about how I wish I could dress like that and feel like that. I’m lucky if I even get a shower every day, and my hair gets washed, on average, about twice a week, again, if I’m lucky. I fall asleep every night with a to-do list a mile long, including packing my daughter’s lunches and snacks with caution because oh yeah, she has severe food allergies and has also been sick about 8 times in the last 4.5 months…which usually causes me to rush every morning to get to work on time after dropping her off at the sitter because the to-do list still exists every morning when I finally crawl out of bed. She sleeps in my bed a lot, because sometimes, I just need sleep, however I can get it. I’m creating a bad habit, I’m sure of it, but sleep wins. And she isn’t feeling well basically every other week so it’s all I can do to comfort her.  I pause between household and work duties, to breathe through the Braxton Hicks/pelvic pain and can’t even pee alone these days because somebody likes to be wherever mama is always.

But we’re surviving. And my babies are loved beyond measure. And sometimes I just have to remind myself to give myself a break. I’m doing the best I can. Clothes don’t matter, hair doesn’t matter, and laundry? It can definitely wait. Luckily when I do motivate enough to do laundry, I have a very willing, little helper who loves putting clothes in the dryer and helps mama with the ‘no bending’ rule. We have quiet time where we color and read books and eat dinner together, even if it’s cereal, every night. We have our whole family together (most) weekends and we relish in it.  Lark kisses my baby belly and pats it saying ‘baby’ and I realize in these tiny moments that all the stress is worth her tiny smile when she’s excited to see me every day, or her squeals of delight when dad comes home for the weekend.

So to all the moms struggling with difficult stuff or just getting laundry in the wash, give yourself a break. You’re doing the best you can. And your babies love you anyway…and you’re beautiful…even if your hair is crusty from your toddler’s meal the night before because she really wanted to kiss you after making a mess of herself…and that's all that matters.

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