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20 & 21 Week Pregnancy Update

I'm feeling accomplished and caught up! Cranking these updates out this weekend. I always have the questionnaires filled out, but finding time to film and edit during the week is difficult at the moment!

Here is my 20 and 21 week update!


TWENTY/TWENTY-ONE WEEKS UPDATE

How far along?  21 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? About 8-10 lbs

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Sleeping better, but waking up some still.

Best moment last week? The usual...just spending time with my girl, and with my husband on weekends. And hitting that halfway mark!

Movement?  So much! This baby is a mover!

Food cravings? All junk all the time! And coke, but cutting way back because I think the caffeine is causing issues:

Symptoms? My newest symptom has been Braxton hicks contractions for the last two weeks, which I had a lot with Lark, but not until much later. OB was a bit concerned, and I've been instructed to take it easy, which is hard because I'm alone with an active toddler during the week. Trying to have her walk more now that the weather is a bit better and snow has melted a lot. SPD has been kicking up too...

Gender? We know now!! But haven't revealed yet!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.

What I miss: this question is getting redundant...isn't it obvious?! My husband and my family being together!!!

What I am looking forward to: still the warm weather so Lark can get outside and get some exercise!


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18 & 19 Week Pregnancy Update

Playing catch up, as usual, with my pregnancy updates...quite a few weeks behind at this point, but here's the update for 18 and 19 weeks!


18 Week Update

How far along?  18 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Officially up 3-4 lbs from my starting weight. It's fluctuating at the moment...

Maternity clothes? Duh. Stretchy pants galore these days!

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Better! But still always tired...

Best moment last week? Just the usual 'weekend with my husband' happies...

Movement?  Tons...still on a pretty regular schedule. Thinking it can probably be felt from the outside now, but every time I try, little pea stops kicking!

Food cravings? The usual...

Symptoms? Tired...nausea is pretty much gone! Unless I eat too much. I've already hit that point where my stomach is running out of room for food and I get uncomfortable very quickly...I feel like the SPD I had last pregnancy is slowly creeping its way back in. Not looking forward to that! Still a randomly itchy face and other weird spots on my arms and legs. Sinuses are still screwy and I've had a recurrence of headaches!

Gender? Next week!!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.
  
What I miss: sunshine and warm weather! 

What I am looking forward to: our anatomy ultrasound next week! It's been a minute since I've seen the babe and I'm anxious to see how we are doing and hopefully find out gender!! 


NINETEEN WEEKS UPDATE

How far along?  19 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Between 3 and 5 lbs

Maternity clothes? Lots! Need to order more pants and some spring items though.

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Oh my. Lark has been really sick and we've barely slept! So still very tired!

Best moment last week? We had an ultrasound and found out gender this week!

Movement?  Lots! Still at fairly predictable times of the day.

Food cravings? The usual still...and Starbucks iced chai!!

Symptoms? Nothing new of note. Haven't been sick at all, so that's a bonus!! Skin is still being wacky and my hair is sprouting new strands lately (sadly, most are gray!) 

Gender? We know now!! But haven't revealed yet!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.
  
What I miss: oh gosh...broken record here, but my husband...

What I am looking forward to: daylight savings and SPRING!




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Pregnancy...round 2

So, if you haven’t gathered, I’m pregnant again. Either that, or I ate 539 too many donuts and it all went to my belly.

Horrible photos courtesy of my iphone...


Pregnancy the second time around has been no joke! It started much rougher, with spotting and bleeding, which had me doubting it would even continue at that point, but here we are, at 25 weeks, with a healthy baby (PHEW!). And while most of my symptoms have been identical to the ones I experienced while pregnant with Lark, they seem to be happening at a more rapid pace this time.

As most of you (probably) know, James and I got married on November 1st of last year. If you’re doing the math in your head right now, then you’d be correct in guessing that this is a ‘wedding’ baby…(just saying)…and no more than a week later, I accepted a new job in a city 2.5 hours away from where we were living which obviously required relocation. Something we were fully prepared for being that we’ve always wanted to live in said location. No big deal! We were happy!

But what has transpired over the last 4.5 months could not have been predicted and we could not have been prepared for. From family and health issues, to legal and custody issues with my stepson, to navigating this pregnancy and toddler wrangling as a ‘single’ mom for much longer than we had anticipated…and it’s been…hard. There isn’t a more accurate (read: fancy) word for it. Hard. Emotionally, physically…we’re exhausted.

Being a ‘single’ mom is not easy. I never assumed it was easy. My mom was a single mom for quite some time, before my stepdad came along, often working multiple jobs just to scrape by. I don’t know how she did it. And while I have a home to live in, a good job, food on the table…it’s still beyond difficult.  

Add to that a pregnancy. Add to that an already uncomfortable pregnancy. My body just can’t keep up this time around.  I’m much more tired, cannot get enough rest, and Braxton Hicks contractions started up much earlier than with Lark, and with much more gusto, for lack of a better word. So I’ve been instructed to ‘take it easy,’  ‘lift and bend less’ and ‘get more rest’ which, if you have a toddler, then you probably know this isn’t happening.

Add to all of this, my lack of a husband/father…ok, that sounds bad, like he’s chosen this, which he hasn’t. But it’s a very real and raw part of our lives right now. I grew up without my father in my life. Granted, I had a stepdad who was great, but I never knew my ‘dad.’ I do now, and he’s awesome and our relationship is awesome, but it definitely makes me appreciate the fact that my babies have their dad. I have surreal moments where I think, ‘My kids have a dad!’ and that’s probably insane for most people, because most people knew their dads before they were adults. What I’m getting at is, while it’s physically and mentally draining to be taking care of our daughter without him, I have silent moments of heartbreak when she does something silly or cute, and I don’t have him to share it with.  We’ve seen him more over the last two weeks, which we are loving! He’s watching Lark on days he’s here and helping me get the much needed rest I need. Hopefully he will be here full-time soon, but he has another son who also needs him, which is why he’s split at the moment. I won’t get into specifics, but basically he’s not allowed to move his son without court/mom’s approval, which didn’t happen for us for various reasons, but he will be allowed to move once school is out for the summer. It’s been extremely hard on us emotionally, physically and financially to have dealt with this over the last 4.5 months.

He’s the best dad, and we need him so much.

So pregnancy the second time around has been much different, even while being somewhat the same. I just don’t have time (or energy) for usual things. My time is taken up by a new job and a toddler. Sadly, pregnancy takes a back seat. I’m taking care of myself, sure, but things like this blog have been lacking tremendously. I’m just trying to make it, one day at a time, on my own, with a tiny, 19-month-old sidekick.

I had a fashion post for each week last time around. And while I’m posting belly photos as often as I can, it’s generally a phone shot and just posted to instagram. My wardrobe is pathetic, at best, mostly due to THE LONGEST WINTER EVER! But also because I have zero motivation. I see maternity style posts online with women looking amazing in heels and dresses and I moan and groan to myself about how I wish I could dress like that and feel like that. I’m lucky if I even get a shower every day, and my hair gets washed, on average, about twice a week, again, if I’m lucky. I fall asleep every night with a to-do list a mile long, including packing my daughter’s lunches and snacks with caution because oh yeah, she has severe food allergies and has also been sick about 8 times in the last 4.5 months…which usually causes me to rush every morning to get to work on time after dropping her off at the sitter because the to-do list still exists every morning when I finally crawl out of bed. She sleeps in my bed a lot, because sometimes, I just need sleep, however I can get it. I’m creating a bad habit, I’m sure of it, but sleep wins. And she isn’t feeling well basically every other week so it’s all I can do to comfort her.  I pause between household and work duties, to breathe through the Braxton Hicks/pelvic pain and can’t even pee alone these days because somebody likes to be wherever mama is always.

But we’re surviving. And my babies are loved beyond measure. And sometimes I just have to remind myself to give myself a break. I’m doing the best I can. Clothes don’t matter, hair doesn’t matter, and laundry? It can definitely wait. Luckily when I do motivate enough to do laundry, I have a very willing, little helper who loves putting clothes in the dryer and helps mama with the ‘no bending’ rule. We have quiet time where we color and read books and eat dinner together, even if it’s cereal, every night. We have our whole family together (most) weekends and we relish in it.  Lark kisses my baby belly and pats it saying ‘baby’ and I realize in these tiny moments that all the stress is worth her tiny smile when she’s excited to see me every day, or her squeals of delight when dad comes home for the weekend.


So to all the moms struggling with difficult stuff or just getting laundry in the wash, give yourself a break. You’re doing the best you can. And your babies love you anyway…and you’re beautiful…even if your hair is crusty from your toddler’s meal the night before because she really wanted to kiss you after making a mess of herself…and that's all that matters.




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18 months...

Dearest little bean,

It’s been 6 months since mama last wrote you a letter! Which means you’re now 18 (almost 19!) months old.

So much has happened and so much has changed.

After your birthday, life went into full speed and it was fast forward ahead! Mama and daddy were in the midst of finalizing wedding plans. Which led to your first airplane ride last October to California for the wedding! You did great and were such a good, little traveller. You slept a lot on the flights and mama nursed you on landings and take-offs so your ears wouldn’t hurt too much.

Once we got there, you had your first In N’ Out burger and loved it! Minus the cheese, of course. Your 12 month allergy testing confirmed you were still allergic to both eggs and milk, and now peanuts! We checked into our hotel in Anaheim and were all really tired! Your nana Moats was with us too. We took you to Disneyland for the first time, and while you were still too little for a lot of rides, you certainly enjoyed yourself, regardless. Navigating food while there was interesting, but we managed! It was so much fun to experience that magical place with you that was such a big part of mama’s childhood. We headed up the mountain to Big Bear a few days later, mama and daddy’s hometown, which is where we got married. You got carsick on the way up! We had a great week there, spending lots of time with family and trick-or-treating with everyone in ‘The Village,’ just like mama did as a kid. You were Pebbles Flintstone for Halloween and we even made your hair orange! It was cold that night, but we kept you bundled! You even got to meet your grandpa and uncle Fiddler (mama’s dad and brother) for the first time and you were all quite smitten with each other.

Mama and daddy got married and it was wonderful! We dressed you as a miniature snow white and you were carried down the aisle, right before mama, by your uncle Anthony.  You feel asleep right before and stayed fast asleep for the entire ceremony! It was really cold and actually snowed that day!  But everything was so beautiful and mama and daddy were so happy! We were glad you were there to share it with us.

Right after we got home from California, mama got a new job! Which was really exciting, but meant that we were moving up north, near your grandma and grandpa Simon., just like we’d always wanted. It all went very fast and you and I moved up the week of Thanksgiving, while dad and Brennan stayed behind, for what we hoped would only be a short period of time. During this time, mama also found out she was pregnant and you’d have a new baby sibling the following summer! We were pretty pleased about that!

Mama started her new job, you started a new daycare, and we lived for a bit with your grandparents while we were getting settled, seeing dad and brother on weekends.

You got really sick during that time, a cold, likely from the kids at daycare. And it affected your breathing pretty significantly, which wasn’t really new, per say, but it was worse than it had ever been. They had to prescribe a new medicine for your nebulizer that seemed to nearly make you stop breathing, which resulted in your first (and hopefully last) ambulance trip to the hospital. It was very scary and dad was away and it was really hard on all of us, but you were okay and we were so thankful for that!

Shortly after that was Christmas! You had so much fun this year and LOVED opening gifts, opening each one slowly and deliberately and enjoying every minute. One of your favorite gifts was a little ride-on car that plays music! It was sort of a different Christmas this year, everything was so busy and we were stressed out with the move, but being together for that week was wonderful and spending time with you was all that mattered.

We spent Christmas in your nana Moats’ house (daddy’s mom), but she wasn’t with us. Around Thanksgiving, she got very sick, and still remains sick and has to live elsewhere, in a place where nurses and doctors take care of her. It’s been really sad and hard on all of us, but we visit her a lot and she plays games and smiles her biggest smiles when you and Brennan are around!

The new year came and went and dad and Brennan were still living away and it just got harder and harder on you and I. Being apart was extremely saddening and there were many reasons for it, which I won’t bother you with, but we’re just now getting to a point where we can be together again. Your dad has really missed you.

It’s been a very long road, with lots of hurt and sadness, but lots of happiness too. You’ve been mama’s sidekick and kept her grounded. You’ve given her reasons to just keep smiling and keep on swimming!

You’ve learned so much since 12 months too! You now have 8 teeth, with more on their way in. You’re still small, weighing 19lbs 12oz at your 18-month appointment. You’re babbling and talking more and more these days, saying things like moon, apple, owl, all done, shoes, toes, kitty, ball, bubbye, thank you, this, that, bottle (baba), night night, blanket, jacket, vroom vroom noises with anything that can used as a car, making fart noises (which we find hilarious), baby, pretty, and lots more, in addition to mama and dada. You’re so smart and such a bright little soul. You love coloring these days, and do so with much seriousness and determination. Mickey Mouse is still your favorite, and we find you actually laughing at shows on tv now when you’re supposed to laugh because you understand so much now. You took off walking (finally! You took your first steps about a month before) around 15 months, but are still such a cautious girl when it comes venturing far.  You love to dance and are already a girly-girl, helping mama put on makeup, wearing jewelry and always wanting to change your clothes!

You’re a good, little eater too! You love your fruits and veggies, mostly veggies, which we’re thankful for! Your food allergies have been good for shaping a healthy diet for you! Mama tries new recipes a lot, which has been an eye-opener for her in finding alternatives to ‘normal’ foods that you can enjoy!

You’re independent, but still love a good cuddle with mom and dad and always want one of them nearby. Your calm and quiet, usually, and we always get compliments on how sweet you are. But you have reached a stage where whining is MUCH more common, usually if you don’t get your way…

You’ve also been sick A TON this winter! You had stomach flu THREE times in about a six-week span, along with multiple colds, which have difficult to manage at times due to the breathing issues.  You poor thing, it’s been so hard for dad and I to watch, but we cuddled and loved on you extra and you’re feeling much better these days. Getting outside more, spending lots of time with cousins who live nearby, and just being you…

Daddy’s here now, and spending his days with you while mama works. You love him to pieces and no one makes you laugh quite like he does.

We are still so amazed by you, every day. You bring such joy to our lives and watching you grow is privilege I’ll never quite be able to put into proper words. You occupy my thoughts every minute of every day and seeing your smile when I come home is worth every, single hardship we’ve faced this winter, some of which I’ll share with you when you’re older. There’s been things that have happened in our lives over the last six months that mama can’t quite share with you just yet because it’s just too painful for her…

I’m so looking forward to continuing watching you grow, giving you the gift of a baby sibling, and seeing where life takes us. You truly are my very best friend, along with dad, of course!

Love,

mama

Pinafore/Apron and hat from Glitter + Wit on Etsy








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17 Week Pregnancy Update

It's that time again! Pregnancy update time! Here is my 17 week update (I'm 19 weeks now, but still playing catch up! Turns out being pregnant and having a toddler at the same time is hard work!)





SEVENTEEN WEEKS UPDATE

How far along?  16 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Officially up 3-4 lbs from my starting weight. It's fluctuating at the moment...

Maternity clothes? Yep. Can we just get rid if this question?!

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Better most nights. Pee breaks have lessened, for now!

Best moment last week? Had a fun Valentine's day with my husband and baby girl! Went out for dinner with my in-laws and this pregnant girl was so happy to eat at her favorite Asian restaurant and NOT feel sick!

Movement?  Lots! And in the same places as Lark! I suspect uterus shape has something to with that, or, this baby is breech again!

Food cravings? Junk and sweets. That's a problem now that I'm feeling hungry again. Also bagels, with lots of cream cheese and still on that cinnamon life kick too!

Symptoms? Tired still. Guessing that's not going away. Nausea is nearly subsided, but I still have moments during food aversions, which are becoming less too. Sinuses! OMG the snot!! TMI gas...skin changes.

Gender? Soon. VERY soon!!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.
  
What I miss: an ice cold beer!!

What I am looking forward to: warm weather...which feels like it's NEVER coming! And a gender reveal!!!



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15 & 16 Week Pregnancy Update

15 and 16 weeks have come and gone, but I'm just now getting around to posting my update! Nothing monumental happened in those couple of weeks, but here's my update, nonetheless...


FIFTEEN/SIXTEEN WEEKS UPDATE

How far along?  16 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Officially up 2 lbs from my starting weight.

Maternity clothes? Yep.

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? Sometimes better, sometimes worse. 

Best moment last week? I've had some really hard days lately. It's been emotional and I've had to face some hard moments. But any moment with Lark stands out because she keeps me grounded and sane! Her giggle puts a smile on my face every time!

Movement?  Yes. At specific times of day. Maybe this baby is organized like its father ;)

Food cravings? Basically just junk. Sugar. Soda....ugh...trying to hold back!

Symptoms? Still tired. Nausea has calmed down A LOT!! Thankfully. Still have some food aversions here and there. My back pain isn't quite as bad either, for now. Dizziness. Lots of sinus issues and headaches. This pregnancy is basically following the same pattern as last time!

Gender? Couple more weeks!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.
  
What I miss: I miss my life feeling 'normal'

What I am looking forward to: warmer weather and hopefully getting out for some walks! It's been too cold!!




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Thirteen and Fourteen Weeks Pregnancy Update

Hey, hey! I hit the second trimest, a couple of weeks ago now, but I'm trying to play catch up on these posts right now because life has been insane!

Here is my update for 13/14 weeks...



THIRTEEN/FOURTEEN WEEKS UPDATE

How far along?  13 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Still down a pound or two

Maternity clothes? Yep. Ordered a couple of items from Old Navy and broke out my previous stash from my pregnancy with Lark

Stretch marks? None yet...

Sleeping? I've had better nights lately, but they are few. I'm just not comfortable.

Best moment last week? We finally spilled the beans about the pregnancy. That was fun!!

Movement?  Yep! Last week I thought I was imagining things, but then I looked back and I first felt Lark at 15 weeks so not far off ;) Definitely feeling baby flutters!

Food cravings? I've started doing green smoothies in the morning and I find myself craving them! Also craving sweets and coca-cola!! Trying to say no though. The struggle is real.

Symptoms? Still pretty tired. Nausea seems to be calming a bit. Mostly only happens during a food aversion moment now, rather than all the time at random. Still having some back pain as well.

Gender? Nope. OB predicted boy based on heart rate, girl based on nausea...we find out for sure in early March!

Labor signs? Nope.

Belly button in/out? In.
  
What I miss: not missing a ton right now. Mostly my husband!

What I am looking forward to: hopefully feeling better in the next few weeks! And finding out gender soon!


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